Weekly Lesson #1

Introduction

As a younger, less wise, man I used to get frustrated when results didn’t go my way.

When I played sports as a kid, the moment my team started losing or something didn’t go my way, I was that guy—throwing tantrums, sulking, letting emotions take over. Sometimes, that frustration turned into anger, which at least had some use, but more often than not, I let it get the better of me.

As I got older, the same pattern showed up in other areas of life. I’d make my daily to-do list, feeling motivated and ready to attack the day. But if something went wrong—maybe I slept in, got injured and missed a workout, or a task took longer than expected—I’d get completely demoralized. One setback could throw off my whole day.

But as I grew older, I realized that was the wrong attitude—I was focused on the wrong thing. Results won’t always go our way. As Sinatra put it: ‘That’s life.’

Then, after encountering a quote from the great philosopher Marcus Aurelius (which I’ll share in a moment), I began to realize that to achieve success, all we can do is focus on controlling the controllable.

The Lesson

“Working towards success isn’t about guaranteeing a result—it’s about maximizing your chances by focusing on what you can control and letting go of everything else.”

ZBLessons #1

Success in any goal is influenced by countless factors—some within our control, others beyond it.

The key is knowing the difference and directing your energy where it truly matters.

What You Can’t Control

Here are just a few of the most impactful things out of our control that can affect our success:

1.Other people’s actions

You can’t control how others think, feel, or behave. You might give great advice, but whether someone takes it is up to them. Or you might put in your best effort at work, but your boss’s decisions are theirs to make.

2.Unexpected setbacks

No matter how well you prepare, things can still go wrong. You might train for months for a race, only to wake up sick on race day. This is what I alluded to in the introduction. One setback used to ruin my day or throw me off my game in sports.

3.The past

No amount of regret, frustration, or overthinking can change what’s already happened. Whether it’s a mistake, a missed chance, or a failure, dwelling on the past only drains energy away from the present.

How to Deal with the Uncontrollable

The uncontrollable aspects of life lead me to one simple truth: success is never guaranteed.

Therefore, all we can do is maximize our chances of success by focusing all our energy on what we can control, ignoring what we can’t, and then hoping for the best.

Every moment you spend worrying about uncontrollable factors—luck, timing, setbacks, or other people’s actions—takes time and energy away from the things that actually influence success. When you direct your efforts more toward controllable factors, you put yourself in the strongest possible position to succeed.

💎The more time you spend controlling the controllable, the higher your chances of success.

💎The more time you spend focusing on the uncontrollable, the lower your chances.

So, what are the factors we can control that help us achieve success?

What You Can Control

There are many factors that we can control to increase the chances of our success such as our patience, energy, environment and the people we surround ourself with. However, trying to remember too many of these can be overwhelming.

So, I have personally narrowed it down to what I believe are the four most important and impactful factors that we can control:

(I will explain the practical measures I take to control these particular controllables in my own life in the next section)

1.Mindset

A mindset is the established set of attitudes held by someone. It is how you choose to think or feel about a situation.

You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond.

• Do you let failures discourage you, or do you use them as feedback to improve?
• Do you focus on problems, or do you focus on solutions?

2.Work Rate

Your work rate is the physical and mental effort you bring to your tasks – whether in training, studying, or working toward any goal.

You can’t control how naturally talented you are or how quickly results come, but you can always control how much effort you put in.

However, it’s not just about constantly putting in the maximum amount effort every moment – it’s about finding the right level that can be sustainable over a long period of time.

While underworking is a common problem, overworking and burnout are equally dangerous. Success isn’t about maintaining the highest level of effort 24/7—it’s about sustaining consistent, high-quality effort over time.

3.Method

Your method is the system, strategy, or approach you use to achieve your goals. It’s not just about working hard—it’s about working smart.

A well-thought-out method ensures that your time and energy are directed toward the right actions.

The most successful people don’t just grind aimlessly—they refine their approach, analyze their progress, and adjust when needed.

4.Discipline Control (consistency)

Discipline is your ability to control yourself to stay consistent in best applying the other three controllable factors.

Discipline is what keeps you showing up even when motivation fades. It’s about staying committed to your methods over time, whether you feel like it or not.

Hard work for a day won’t bring results—only consistent effort does. The people who succeed aren’t necessarily the most talented; they’re the ones who put in the work, day after day, even when it’s tough.

How to Apply This Lesson

I will now walk you through how I personally control the controllable by detailing my protocols for each controllable factor towards success.

Mindset Control

The right mindset is somewhat subjective. There are countless different possible scenarios in life, and each may require a different attitude to be most effective in achieving your goals. Because of this, I personally take on board the advice of Bruce Lee and Robert Greene to try and have the right mindset in any situation:

“Be Water” – Bruce Lee

“Empty your mind. Be formless, shapeless—like water.

You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup.

You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle.

You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot.

Now, water can flow, or it can crash.

Be water, my friend.”

Bruce Lee

This famous Bruce Lee quote, from a 1971 interview, emphasizes adaptability, flexibility, and the ability to move fluidly through challenges in life.

Just as water takes the shape of whatever it flows into, so must your attitude. Sometimes you need to be angry, other times motivated, sometimes calm. Just be present, empty your mind and act instinctively by improvising and doing whatever you think is most useful in the present moment.

“Assume formlessness” – Robert Greene

Robert Greene, the author of the famous book called “The 48 Laws of Power”, introduces the idea of assuming formlessness in Law #48

This is very similar to Bruce Lee’s “Be Water” philosophy.

His idea is to disregard all the information in the book and just conform to the needs of the present situation. Greene suggests that the rigidity of the laws can make you vulnerable, while flexibility and adaptability give you power – or in the context of this lesson, control.  

Short video of Robert Greene explaining Law 48 –

So, using the wisdom of these two thinkers, I don’t overthink my mindset—I simply stay present and do what I believe is best in the moment.

However, in situations where things go wrong in my life, I do like to remind myself of some key advice to try and stay in a good mindset.

Controlling My Attitude When Things Go Wrong

As I mentioned in the introduction, things will go wrong at some point. I used to struggle with this, but over time, I realized that dwelling on setbacks serves me no purpose. It doesn’t help me, and it doesn’t change the outcome.

Here’s my two reasons why:

• If you controlled the controllable before something went wrong, you have nothing to be ashamed of

I recently saw a video of Mathew McConaughey recently talking about how if you’re going to pursue something, give it your all.

In my case, giving it my all means that if I look back on a situation, I can confidently say I did my best in terms of the four controllable factors (Attitude, Work Rate, Preparation, and Discipline).

McConaughey explains that if you don’t give it your all, you’ll always be wondering “What if?”—and as he puts it, “Boy… that’s what keeps us up at night.”

But if you did give it your all, there’s a sense of peace that comes with knowing you did everything within your control. If the outcome was out of your hands, there’s nothing to regret.

An amazing example of this attitude of not being ashamed or too worried about things that are out your control is a quote by the ancient Roman philosopher Marcus Aurelius–

“Death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back”.

Marcus Aurelius

This perfectly embodies the controlling the controllable philosophy. If your goal is to live, then all you can do is prolong death. It is out of your control whether you will die or not. Therefore, Marcus suggests that since it’s out of our control, why waste energy worrying about it? Instead, Marcus suggests that all you can do is smile back at its inevitability and not let it ruin the life that we have right now.

• If something went wrong because you didn’t control the controllable, you need to start now by not trying to change the past (which is out of our control) and then learning, adapting and moving on to the next thing

Learn, adapt and move on. That’s all you can do.

The more time you spend dwelling on the mistakes you made (unless you are learning from them) is just increasing the time you spend focusing on the uncontrollable (the past). And therefore as I said earlier, decreasing your chances of success.

The purpose of the past is to learn from it and remember useful information, other than that all it does is distract you from the present.

Another powerful quote from Marcus Aurelius is –

“Love the hand that fate deals you, and play it as your own”

Marcus Aurelius

Once again emphasizing the control the controllable attitude, Marcus is saying you can’t control the past actions that led you to where you are now.

There is zero utility in wishing things were different in the past so that you could be living with different circumstances now (a different hand).

All you can do is play the hand that you were dealt and make the most of it, otherwise what’s the point?

Work Rate Control

To operate at the correct work rate, I use advice that I learned from Jordan Peterson and Andrew Huberman.

Resting to Increase Productivity – Jordan Peterson

One of the things Jordan Peterson, a well-known psychologist, discovered while coaching high-level lawyers—who had demanding careers and an infinite workload—was that he needed to get them to either work fewer hours or take more vacations to avoid exhaustion and increase productivity.

At first, these lawyers were nervous about complying with Peterson’s advice, but he made them a bet:

“Let’s keep track of your billable hours over the next year and see if they increase or decrease. Because I bet you, if you take more time off, you’ll actually have more billable hours. You’ll actually have your cake and eat it. You’ll get to have a vacation, and you’ll be more productive.”

That inevitably was what happened.

I use this advice to structure my own three types of rest:

1. Daily rest – I take two hours at the end of every day to relax and recharge.

2. Weekly rest – I take all of Sunday off to reset and plan for the week ahead.

3. Extended rest – I take one to two weeks off every 3-4 months for a longer recharge.

This is excluding any additional socializing with family and friends that I might do on Saturday nights or during the week.

By prioritizing intentional rest, I ensure that when I am working, I have the energy and motivation to do so. Knowing I have scheduled breaks prevents me from feeling overwhelmed by an endless workload.

Of course, things don’t always go to plan, and sometimes I miss these rest periods because I’m too busy—but this is what I aim for.

(link to the belief systems vid)

Ultradian Cycles – Andrew Huberman

Andrew Huberman suggests that any activity requiring physical or mental focus should last around 90 minutes, in alignment with ultradian cycles—natural biological cycles that typically last about 90 minutes.

He recommends incorporating two to three of these deep work sessions per day.

This doesn’t mean you should only work 3-5 hours a day—it simply means that deep, focused work should be structured in 90-minute intervals before taking a break. This helps maintain high performance and prevents mental fatigue.

To learn more about these cycles, check out this Andrew Huberman podcast video from 26-32 minutes:

📎 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb5zpo5WDG4

Method Control

To optimize my methods, I rely heavily on planning and organization. My personal productivity system is complex and would need its own blog post to explain, but some key aspects include using Apple Notes to capture important information, structuring my notes based on the ‘Building a Second Brain’ method by Tiago Forte, and managing tasks with Todoist. I also conduct a weekly review process similar to Tiago’s, ensuring that my method stays refined, organized, and aligned with my goals. Tiago explains his weekly review in this video –

Discipline Control

I don’t believe in laziness. I believe that if I struggle to maintain discipline in achieving a goal, it’s either because I don’t want it enough or I’m not doing the right things to achieve it, which then also makes me not want to do the work.

So, if I ever find myself lacking discipline, I focus on increasing my desire for the goal.

One of the best ways to do this is to remind yourself of what would happen if you didn’t achieve it. Jordan Peterson suggests you can remind yourself of this by creating your own version of hell.

Hell – Jordan Peterson

If you’re not motivated to get where you want to go (your goal), imagine what your life will be like if you don’t get there.

This way, not only do you have the goal pulling you forward, but you also have the fear of a negative outcome pushing you from behind—like a fire at your back and a magnet in front of you.

Jordan suggests imagining your life five years from now if where you allow your bad habits take control. Picture the version of you that never had any discipline and write down exactly what the different aspects of your life would look like in that scenario.

This is your personal hell – a version of your future that should scare you enough to take action now. If ending up here doesn’t scare you, then it should.

Every time you consider making the choice not to be disciplined, you can remember that this is a possible pathway to my hell.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, success isn’t about guaranteeing an outcome—it’s about playing the best hand with the cards you’re dealt.

You can’t control luck, setbacks, or other people’s decisions, but you can control your mindset, work rate, preparation, and discipline. These four factors form the foundation of success, and by mastering them, you maximize your chances of achieving your goals.

The key takeaway?

Control the controllable and let go of the rest.

The more time you spend worrying about things outside your influence, the less energy you have for the things that actually move you forward.

So next time life throws a curveball, ask yourself: Am I wasting energy on something I can’t change?

If the answer is yes, shift your focus. Double down on the controllable factors, and trust that over time, the odds will stack up in your favor.

And even if they don’t, at least you can take solace in knowing you did your best.

At least you won’t be lying awake at night, wondering what if…